salsa dancing and life

In Salsa dancing you have to hold hands, you must not hold tight or else the turns will be sloppy or happen incorrectly. A tight hand hold can give false hints and can even hurt your partner. You keep a light grip and let the girl turn herself as you guide her with your hands and hints. I find this to be applicable to relationships, marriage and a whole ton of things. watching my salsa teacher dance with his wife was such a special experience. He let her be her beautiful self and would do nothing but guide her through turns as she herself turned.
As I was dancing i noticed my grip was too tight and I was almost forcing my partner into turns. I laughed at myself, looked up and said, "I am so sorry, I have been leading you wrong and holding too tight, I feel like a control freak!" 
My partner smiled and laughed, "Yea chill out, control freak!"
we continued dancing, this time with her hands gently resting in mine. I swung, pulled, directed, and moved my hands in hers to guide her throughout the turns. But I realized that she was the one turning. We were separate people both shining on the floor. I saw that dancing, my purpose in dancing, was to guide my partner in a way where she could best display her own greatness. I was to let her act as her own agent, her own autonomous being. If she looked bad, I looked bad. 
In life I find I try to control so many things. I have such a tight grip on situations, plans, and friends. If I just let that grip loose and let things and people play out for themselves than they will manifest there own beauty. I see in many relationships that people almost desire to control their partner, convince them to put off dreams or change who they are. I want to be the man who would encourage the woman I love to realize all her dreams. If it is important to her, it must be impotent to me too. I would guide her through them, help her find the best way to make it all happen. How can I be a Father who would raise children who would later become legends if I cannot guide them in their own agency? I want them to accomplish all they will set out to do. And how can I call myself a friend or Brother or Son if I would criticize the talents, dreams, and abilities of those I love and try to control them in any way? 
I don't want to seek control, but guidance.