navigating

Love filled my heart with courage to sail
                     the Sea of Life,
                   Love filled my sails, with the wind of chance and change.
                           
                                                                  Love guided my path though I still unaware of the direction,
It was her fierceness that fueled the storm,
It                         her                             and
was                     cry                            her
tears                   that                             breath
that                     shattered                    like
fell                      the                             wind
like                     sky                             blew
rain                        
                   
Her waves dashed against my vessel, tore it board for board and cast me into the sea.

                            It was she who baptized me in my despair and hopelessness,
                                                 and in her compassion....

                                            gave me wood to hold onto as I was a drift in the ocean,
                                        her gentle waves brought me to your shores
                                     And I will forever be grateful
                                  for I knew not
                               that love
                            and eternity
 
                                brought me here

       Love filled my heart with courage to sail

-阳光

Rain

The fact that I
       wish to sanctify
             rather than burn in my
                   yet still I try
            to reach the sky
       until I fly
like rays of light,
  with all of my might
      I fight and fight
     all of my fright
          I feel it bite
              my wounds turn white
                   yet still I pry
           would not ask why
     not from this high
while all the while
     through every mile
       since I was child
    was heard my plight
                  I flew like kite
                        to my Father's height
                               until like rays of light......
       

                                                                                     His answer falls on me

  like  rain

in the end

I say I wonder and gather thoughts from beyond the stars and further,
       
                                    I say I follow trails in the sky
                                                                         
                                                                                    I say I have followed treasure maps

and that the X is on my heart.

Perhaps my adventures and travels of grander are even more exciting that I have explained,

                  That the Dragons

and Pirates

and the ancient tribesmen of the Edegoggo Tribe

don't forget the magnificent Pyramids and the ancient gold inside

or the  skeletons of a thousand armies back from the grave

did I tell you of the bubu bird and its melodies of beauty

or of the stories of Uncle Schnell that he brought to life before our eyes

Flying the planes of Doldendon in the blue orange summer sky

and listening to the Countess sing the evening's lullaby

Fighting the slave traders for freedom of another

and when I won returning every man, woman, and child rightly, to their mothers

Eating the hearty peasants meal, fit more for a King

and embarking in a royal feast though for me, i feel undeserving

or to see the great canyons of Fiellbuern

and the rivers of Ruinsnfef Fee

and the Sunsets on top of Sfnifberry Pass are the most beautiful...undoubtedly 

all these voyages

are all true.

after all

and so is she

though i still know not

but when i do

she will have been the greatest

adventure

of 

them all

Words

You gave me a world of wonder, of castles in the sky
or heroes and love, and plains that stretch for miles filled with gold more precious than stone.
Mountains and waterfalls of water so pure of crystalline that to drink of it would give you eternal youth.
Through your words I saw mountains floating in the clouds and dragons in their majesty flying through their endless horizons.
Your stories showed me the mysteries of the cosmos, of nebulas and hot gasses of blues and pinks and oranges and reds forming stars and planets and new life never before seen.
In your exclamations I felt the rush of happiness like a kite against the wind, the heat of passions fire, the laughter of a million butterflies, and the sorrow like a fog in a silent morning mourning for loss.
From the fables and stories I built my integrity, respect, dignity, honesty, and goodwill toward others. I blame them for my knowledge of love and friendship and family.
Many worlds you gave me full of beauty and grander, all in the countless words from your mouth.

......and then in only a few it all was destroyed.

...how can something so beautiful be created by words

that came from the same 

as other words

so 

ugly

?

Wonder of The World

“Wonder of The World”

How couldn’t I place you among the greatest things,

with discoveries that changed the world?

Because through you, a harmony rings,

and off my throne I am hurled.

I am stopped by the beauty you weave in your life

Like a blanket which warmth is certain.

The same beauty that has cleansed my eyes,

And has made itself captain of my heart’s crewmen.

How many may sail the sea to find something so fair,

Something that shines with such compassion?

How many have written epics of what they’d sacrificed there,

For a kiss of such a passion?

How I have hope in the Grace of the Good God

To be deserving of a daughter such as thee.

After Sailing the fierce waters and steep trails I’ve trod,

My ship could find harbor through thine eternity.

When I’d found you I’d claimed this land for my Love and devotion,

But you are your own and must write your own story.

For love is a journey of two hearts that set themselves in motion,

To cover the greatest distance, the Choice to receive each other’s Glory.

-阳光

salsa dancing and life

In Salsa dancing you have to hold hands, you must not hold tight or else the turns will be sloppy or happen incorrectly. A tight hand hold can give false hints and can even hurt your partner. You keep a light grip and let the girl turn herself as you guide her with your hands and hints. I find this to be applicable to relationships, marriage and a whole ton of things. watching my salsa teacher dance with his wife was such a special experience. He let her be her beautiful self and would do nothing but guide her through turns as she herself turned.
As I was dancing i noticed my grip was too tight and I was almost forcing my partner into turns. I laughed at myself, looked up and said, "I am so sorry, I have been leading you wrong and holding too tight, I feel like a control freak!" 
My partner smiled and laughed, "Yea chill out, control freak!"
we continued dancing, this time with her hands gently resting in mine. I swung, pulled, directed, and moved my hands in hers to guide her throughout the turns. But I realized that she was the one turning. We were separate people both shining on the floor. I saw that dancing, my purpose in dancing, was to guide my partner in a way where she could best display her own greatness. I was to let her act as her own agent, her own autonomous being. If she looked bad, I looked bad. 
In life I find I try to control so many things. I have such a tight grip on situations, plans, and friends. If I just let that grip loose and let things and people play out for themselves than they will manifest there own beauty. I see in many relationships that people almost desire to control their partner, convince them to put off dreams or change who they are. I want to be the man who would encourage the woman I love to realize all her dreams. If it is important to her, it must be impotent to me too. I would guide her through them, help her find the best way to make it all happen. How can I be a Father who would raise children who would later become legends if I cannot guide them in their own agency? I want them to accomplish all they will set out to do. And how can I call myself a friend or Brother or Son if I would criticize the talents, dreams, and abilities of those I love and try to control them in any way? 
I don't want to seek control, but guidance.

meloncholy

Beauty is such a big thing. You can find it almost anywhere and the more you become aware of it the more sweet it is. Experiences abroad in other countries learning other languages and becoming accustomed to other cultures and points of view has really opened my eyes. I became connected to worlds beyond my own and suddenly daily disappointments and letdowns seemed so small. As my world expanded I soon experiences of everyday life became so much more potent. People are so beautiful, and Culture is like a language in itself, a free expression of how the world is seen through the eyes of people. As my joy becomes greater through these connections so to does my pain. There is a sting, an inner silence that I feel as I read about the crisis and calamities of the world. To hear about the civil wars, civil unrests, and horrors of the very darkest of acts that people do to each other brings a sting to me. maybe it is because I now feel connected to them, they now suddenly matter. My house, my family, my country, and my friends are not the only components of my world anymore. My circle is bigger, it has adopted many more. I can't exist alone anymore, not now that I see we are all existing together. what rings in the life of one, echoes in the life of another. God sends rain on everyone as well as Sunshine and I am learning to give thanks for both. The sweetness of my joy is realized through the depth of pain and sorrow. There must be a reason for everything. Existence is to make sense and thus, there is sense to be made, even if we don't know until heaven.