Mis Besos

Si te doy un beso en tu mejilla y no se siente como un abrazo entre nosotros

¿para que te daría un beso?

Si te dejo un beso sobre tus labios y no se siente como el calor del sol sobre tu espalda en el frío de la mañana

¿para que te daría un beso?

Si te doy un beso en tu mano y no se siente que yo te esté sosteniendo

¿cual razón haya para darte un beso?

Si te beso en tu frente y no se siente que yo te estuviera cubriendo con un manto de seguridad y amor

no veo porque besarte

Porque los besos que te doy no son para mi, sino para ti

No te los doy para que me regales tu amor

no te los doy para que me los regreses

Te los doy para que entiendas lo que siento por ti

porque explican mas allá de mis palabras

The Dance

Words are one path in a grove of endless trails.
Sometimes I choose to walk it, sometimes I choose another.
Silence, gaze, breathing, music, singing, writing, listening, touch, and dance.
Or perhaps all of these are dances.
In which we entangle ourselves together
close
apart
touch
not touch
we pull each other in,
warm breath caressing our necks
lips close
cheeks brush
sweet scent of spring and ocean filling the air
like vapor
and honey
hands clasped
push
pull
spinning and twirling
eyes meet
back against back
you follow me
I follow you
togetherness
separateness
It is the dance
Life
We are dancing together
apart

feel me
            feel you
heal me
            heal you

                    The dance is a window into your beauty, of which I want the whole world

                                     to see
阳光

Too Much Rain

After the rain the flowers open again

After the rain the sun spreads warmth like butter on toast

After the rain the dew drops fall like sweet honey

After the rain the ocean in the sky is seen with its great cloudy waves

After the rain the stars peer out to pour light like hot milk from an endless pitcher

After the rain we will see each other clearly

After the rain is growth and life

All this after the rain

when will the rain stop?

when will the rain stop?




or will we stop the rain?


-阳光

Story Telling

Stories are the scriptures of life.
Through stories we teach each other how to live.
Perhaps the most influential and powerful people,
are those who know how to tell stories.

I love the story teller who leaves all his truths hidden in the story for you to find.
He trusts you,
to learn for yourself.
He doesn't want you to have the same story as him,
but to write your own,
as you learn truths from his.
Thus you become your own story teller,
and you begin to teach the mysteries of the world and life itself,
to those who come after.
Stories are a sacred form of gratitude and worship toward the Divine.

It is the arrogant story teller who after sharing his tale,
begins to direct you in his shoes.
He declares what he has learned as the doctrine of life and that it is the nature of things.
You become uneasy as you realize you have a very different experience.
Have I done something wrong?
Must it really be that way?
Something in you protests,
No, you are you and I am I.
This is not sharing divine truth,
It is a cry of loneliness,
from someone who has grown blind to think he is alone in the path he chose.

If there is one thing honest and sincere stories teach us
it is we are all present.
We are all each other's story.

Stories are a celebration of human spirit,
They are a kiss
a prayer

                  a sip of the divinity within us all

that we may come closer

ever closer

to the truth 

and

the essence of God within us

-阳光

the parting

We've talked before our mouths moved,

We knew before the thought had knocked on our door,

We said hello before our eyes met,

We kissed before our lips embraced,


and also


We said goodbye before our tears danced down our cheeks,





and thus,


memories gave us immortality



in each other's souls

where we are free

.


-阳光

The River of Gold

Once there were two men,
they both came of age to work and start their lives.
Both of them desired wealth and set out to ask the Oracle in a distant land how to attain the greatest wealth.
They both set off on their long journey.
Miguel, the first, looked for the best opportunities and the the most wealthy people to help him find the oracle and fund his journey promising them riches and favors. In many occasions he took advantage of less fortunate believing that his dream of wealth was the most important, and he must place it above all other things.

Omar, the second, travelled from town to town asking anyone if there was something he could help with for a small payment to fund his journey. He helped build a chapel, a school, and a home. He fell in love on the way and was wed. He soon had three children. He always had the oracle in the back of his mind and decided it was time to finish the journey.

Miguel arrived years before Omar. He entered her quarters and shouted demanding she appear.
"What is it you desire young Miguel?"

"To be wealthier and richer than all the Sultans and Kings of the Earth!"

"I can only give you what you don't have, I see you are very poor."

"Poor? surely I am not poor. I have had much success already working for the richest and most powerful. I deserve a Queen and a Royal Court!"

"How have you achieved this success?"

"I have not let anyone stand in my way, no one could stop me from my dream!"

"What do you desire from me?"

"What and where is the greatest treasure that I may make myself wealthy?"

"To the Northwest of here, the lies a river, of pure gold. You will make yourself richer than all the Sultans and Kings of the Earth."

"I will go and claim this river!"

And so he left to find the river of Gold. When he found it he was amazed to see it was just as the Oracle explained. He slowly dipped his hand into the flowing gold. When he pulled his hand out of the river, it was covered in blood.

Omar arriving many years later bowed before the seat of the Oracle gently pleading that if she saw fit to appear to him he had a desire to ask.
"What is it you desire?"

"I had originally set out to find thee to ask what is the greatest wealth?"

"I cannot give you that which you do not already have."

"I dont understand may lady, I am a poor man with no admiration to my name."

"You, Omar, you have already attained the greatest wealth."

"What is that?"

"You have already found the riches in the service of those you helped. You have helped construct a chapel where people will learn to change their lives for the better, a school where children will learn to be wise, and a home where people will learn love. You have attained the riches of sharing your heart with another. You have found the rubies in the kiss of your lover, and the diamonds in the moments spent with your children. You have found the silver in the deep conversations with your friends and the precious jewels in the moments of solitude where you learned the secrets of yourself. You have attained the golden moment in arriving here and fulfilling your original dream. You have found the greatest riches this life can offer. There is nothing more I can give."

Omar, now in tears, and smiling thanked the Oracle for helping him see clearly the blessings of riches in his life. He returned to his home and family, he returned to his heart, to his treasure.

Miguel who was standing outside her quarters heard the whole meeting. He stormed in and yelled demanding an explanation.

"I have gathered buckets and buckets of this gold and I cannot clean it of all the blood! You told me I would be richer that the Sultans and Kings of the Earth!"

"You are, Miguel. You have more gold than any man who has ever lived."

"I can't even use it! No one wants gold covered in blood!"

"Miguel in your heart you desired gold more than anything else. You were willing to take advantage of others, you sought the help of people only for your cause. You treated all as means to your end."

"I don't understand, why is the gold covered in blood? I have done nothing wrong but strive to have success to have a comfortable wealthy life."

"It is the testimony of the history of the world, that in the great river of gold, where the river stones are precious jewels, also flows the blood of the innocent." 

The Revolutionary

When he's young he's full of fire and wind, with a vision of hope and change. 

He fights  

                             He pushes

                                                           and grasps whole hearted

                                                                                                          until finally, he turns the page.

But somewhere throughout the journey, or somewhere near the end,

                  our supposed hero lost his way, and his vision began to bend

"He was a good man most would say", but they emphasize in the "was"

                 because all voices now proclaim "monster!" and it's because,

He began to fear his fellow man, far more than his dream,

                 and those he thought he'd strive to help, he tied up and cast down stream.

And when he's old his fire is lost, and his wind has long been ceased,

                 now he has a cold iron will, which will never be released.

"What was my purpose?" he must have thought when the people cried out in shame,

                 "What I thought was free and right.....I guess.....I've truly lost my way."

"But I have not come this far, to simply back down and fail."

                 "I got the power all on my own, and I'll blaze my own trail."

What happened to the revolution? What happened to the dream? 

                  When did it change from being about the people, to only about me?

A prayer is said for those who fight, to change the world for good,

                  that they might not lose their way, like so many times before.

That money, power, and vein ambition, won't taint the original plan,

                  to lift each other from the mud, of the oppression, and abuse we've had.

navigating

Love filled my heart with courage to sail
                     the Sea of Life,
                   Love filled my sails, with the wind of chance and change.
                           
                                                                  Love guided my path though I still unaware of the direction,
It was her fierceness that fueled the storm,
It                         her                             and
was                     cry                            her
tears                   that                             breath
that                     shattered                    like
fell                      the                             wind
like                     sky                             blew
rain                        
                   
Her waves dashed against my vessel, tore it board for board and cast me into the sea.

                            It was she who baptized me in my despair and hopelessness,
                                                 and in her compassion....

                                            gave me wood to hold onto as I was a drift in the ocean,
                                        her gentle waves brought me to your shores
                                     And I will forever be grateful
                                  for I knew not
                               that love
                            and eternity
 
                                brought me here

       Love filled my heart with courage to sail

-阳光

Rain

The fact that I
       wish to sanctify
             rather than burn in my
                   yet still I try
            to reach the sky
       until I fly
like rays of light,
  with all of my might
      I fight and fight
     all of my fright
          I feel it bite
              my wounds turn white
                   yet still I pry
           would not ask why
     not from this high
while all the while
     through every mile
       since I was child
    was heard my plight
                  I flew like kite
                        to my Father's height
                               until like rays of light......
       

                                                                                     His answer falls on me

  like  rain

in the end

I say I wonder and gather thoughts from beyond the stars and further,
       
                                    I say I follow trails in the sky
                                                                         
                                                                                    I say I have followed treasure maps

and that the X is on my heart.

Perhaps my adventures and travels of grander are even more exciting that I have explained,

                  That the Dragons

and Pirates

and the ancient tribesmen of the Edegoggo Tribe

don't forget the magnificent Pyramids and the ancient gold inside

or the  skeletons of a thousand armies back from the grave

did I tell you of the bubu bird and its melodies of beauty

or of the stories of Uncle Schnell that he brought to life before our eyes

Flying the planes of Doldendon in the blue orange summer sky

and listening to the Countess sing the evening's lullaby

Fighting the slave traders for freedom of another

and when I won returning every man, woman, and child rightly, to their mothers

Eating the hearty peasants meal, fit more for a King

and embarking in a royal feast though for me, i feel undeserving

or to see the great canyons of Fiellbuern

and the rivers of Ruinsnfef Fee

and the Sunsets on top of Sfnifberry Pass are the most beautiful...undoubtedly 

all these voyages

are all true.

after all

and so is she

though i still know not

but when i do

she will have been the greatest

adventure

of 

them all

Words

You gave me a world of wonder, of castles in the sky
or heroes and love, and plains that stretch for miles filled with gold more precious than stone.
Mountains and waterfalls of water so pure of crystalline that to drink of it would give you eternal youth.
Through your words I saw mountains floating in the clouds and dragons in their majesty flying through their endless horizons.
Your stories showed me the mysteries of the cosmos, of nebulas and hot gasses of blues and pinks and oranges and reds forming stars and planets and new life never before seen.
In your exclamations I felt the rush of happiness like a kite against the wind, the heat of passions fire, the laughter of a million butterflies, and the sorrow like a fog in a silent morning mourning for loss.
From the fables and stories I built my integrity, respect, dignity, honesty, and goodwill toward others. I blame them for my knowledge of love and friendship and family.
Many worlds you gave me full of beauty and grander, all in the countless words from your mouth.

......and then in only a few it all was destroyed.

...how can something so beautiful be created by words

that came from the same 

as other words

so 

ugly

?

Wonder of The World

“Wonder of The World”

How couldn’t I place you among the greatest things,

with discoveries that changed the world?

Because through you, a harmony rings,

and off my throne I am hurled.

I am stopped by the beauty you weave in your life

Like a blanket which warmth is certain.

The same beauty that has cleansed my eyes,

And has made itself captain of my heart’s crewmen.

How many may sail the sea to find something so fair,

Something that shines with such compassion?

How many have written epics of what they’d sacrificed there,

For a kiss of such a passion?

How I have hope in the Grace of the Good God

To be deserving of a daughter such as thee.

After Sailing the fierce waters and steep trails I’ve trod,

My ship could find harbor through thine eternity.

When I’d found you I’d claimed this land for my Love and devotion,

But you are your own and must write your own story.

For love is a journey of two hearts that set themselves in motion,

To cover the greatest distance, the Choice to receive each other’s Glory.

-阳光

salsa dancing and life

In Salsa dancing you have to hold hands, you must not hold tight or else the turns will be sloppy or happen incorrectly. A tight hand hold can give false hints and can even hurt your partner. You keep a light grip and let the girl turn herself as you guide her with your hands and hints. I find this to be applicable to relationships, marriage and a whole ton of things. watching my salsa teacher dance with his wife was such a special experience. He let her be her beautiful self and would do nothing but guide her through turns as she herself turned.
As I was dancing i noticed my grip was too tight and I was almost forcing my partner into turns. I laughed at myself, looked up and said, "I am so sorry, I have been leading you wrong and holding too tight, I feel like a control freak!" 
My partner smiled and laughed, "Yea chill out, control freak!"
we continued dancing, this time with her hands gently resting in mine. I swung, pulled, directed, and moved my hands in hers to guide her throughout the turns. But I realized that she was the one turning. We were separate people both shining on the floor. I saw that dancing, my purpose in dancing, was to guide my partner in a way where she could best display her own greatness. I was to let her act as her own agent, her own autonomous being. If she looked bad, I looked bad. 
In life I find I try to control so many things. I have such a tight grip on situations, plans, and friends. If I just let that grip loose and let things and people play out for themselves than they will manifest there own beauty. I see in many relationships that people almost desire to control their partner, convince them to put off dreams or change who they are. I want to be the man who would encourage the woman I love to realize all her dreams. If it is important to her, it must be impotent to me too. I would guide her through them, help her find the best way to make it all happen. How can I be a Father who would raise children who would later become legends if I cannot guide them in their own agency? I want them to accomplish all they will set out to do. And how can I call myself a friend or Brother or Son if I would criticize the talents, dreams, and abilities of those I love and try to control them in any way? 
I don't want to seek control, but guidance.

meloncholy

Beauty is such a big thing. You can find it almost anywhere and the more you become aware of it the more sweet it is. Experiences abroad in other countries learning other languages and becoming accustomed to other cultures and points of view has really opened my eyes. I became connected to worlds beyond my own and suddenly daily disappointments and letdowns seemed so small. As my world expanded I soon experiences of everyday life became so much more potent. People are so beautiful, and Culture is like a language in itself, a free expression of how the world is seen through the eyes of people. As my joy becomes greater through these connections so to does my pain. There is a sting, an inner silence that I feel as I read about the crisis and calamities of the world. To hear about the civil wars, civil unrests, and horrors of the very darkest of acts that people do to each other brings a sting to me. maybe it is because I now feel connected to them, they now suddenly matter. My house, my family, my country, and my friends are not the only components of my world anymore. My circle is bigger, it has adopted many more. I can't exist alone anymore, not now that I see we are all existing together. what rings in the life of one, echoes in the life of another. God sends rain on everyone as well as Sunshine and I am learning to give thanks for both. The sweetness of my joy is realized through the depth of pain and sorrow. There must be a reason for everything. Existence is to make sense and thus, there is sense to be made, even if we don't know until heaven.

Poems

"Time enough"

Day in day out

Rush in shout out.

I haven’t the time to stop

I haven’t the time to think.

I haven’t the time pace

I haven’t the time to wait.

The only thing it seems I have time

Is to always, undoubtedly, be late.

'Why rush I ask?

Why worry this task?

To live life to its best

Not beat all the rest?

You are on a journey to becoming

With a lesson to be learning

With knowledge to be thirsting

And a heart to be bursting.

If love be your guide

Then lengthen your stride!

How could you possibly not have enough

Time?

Hear these words and hear them true

Because they are a directed

Directly at you.

There is time enough

To do everything that you want to,

As long as everything you are doing

Is what you want to do!'

-阳光 

"Reach"

Oh, sail away and find yourself on the other side of this sea!

As now you grow and you notice you're growing vertical,

and as your branches start to reach you finally see the top of the canopy.

Oh, start to breath and look up as your lungs fill with sunlight, 

and you stare up at the sky and know what it feels like to fly so high,

and then you fell what it is like to fall

like raindrops on this forest

you call home.

-阳光

"Paradise"

I came upon my world a new so filled with passions fire,

I was the only one I knew my wish was my desire,

Twas my wild heart and only I, me, Adam in my Eden,

Until arrived another who destroyed all of my heathen.

She took it from me, my blissful state, and cast it to the night. 

I screamed and grit my teeth in hate until the morning light.

My solitude was shattered now, and my safe haven overthrown.

I thought myself so happy how? Twas before I was alone.

I cant remember now, if it was her fairness or her touch,

but I forever in my heart recall, her tenderness of love.

With her gentle voice she reached, to the middle of my heart,

There she learned to tame the beast, who'd torn my love apart.

Twas her kiss that in my bitterness made me then think twice,

Twas not my old Eden did I miss, for my Eve is Paradise.

－阳光

"In distance"

In distance still I held thy word

ever closest to my heart

in distance felt I closer still

though seeming we apart

In distance, perhaps stronger I was

for I saw my love for thee

in all my struggles, strifes, and fears

I kept firm through in loyalty.

My only wishes and desires burn

to be with thee someday

Perhaps this distance made the journey sweet

with sugar in the knowing,

that I'll be at my Jesus' feet

with tear ever-flowing.

-阳光